托福写作中注意细节，细节决定成败

　　ETS给出的对于独立写作高分文章的评分标准中，有这样一句话：

　　“Is well organized and well developed, using clearly appropriate explanations, exemplifications, and/or details.”

　　也就是说，一篇出色的文章应该得到很好的组织和发展，并运用清晰恰当的说理、举例以及细节(details)来加以论证;这也就是我们常说的摆道理、讲事实。因而，对于托福独立写作，举例论证是不可或缺的论证方式，独立写作的分论点，理应有事例来支撑。

　　经常有同学会问，一个好例子的标准是什么呢?依笔者看来，一个好的事例要包含细节，陈述翔实。细节既包括事件的前因后果，也包含对于身份、时间等静态信息的描述。接下来，笔者将重点探讨能发挥大作用的两种小细节：名字和数字。

　　I. 名字

　　名字不仅指事例中的人名(身份)和地名，也包括行业名、公司名以及品牌名等等。名字的使用，一方面可以使得文章的信息表述更明确、准确，另一方面也可以使语言更加生动。

　　参照下面的简单对比，名字这类细节的作用显露无疑：

　　My best friend works in an e-commerce company. (general description)

　　My best friend, Johnson, works in Alibaba. (description with name)

　　My best friend, Johnson, works in Alibaba, China’s leading e-commerce corporation. (description with name and place)

　　因此，若同学们在举例论证时能把人名、地名、品牌等具体信息表述清楚，将会极大地提升语言的可读性和可信性。以下面一段为例：

　　[Sub-point]Mobile games, which you may be highly familiar with, have prevailed for years and now they serve as the main approach for young people to relax and reduce pressure. [Exemplification] Pokemon, the most popular game recently, is overwhelming the globe at a speed beyond imagination. In many public places of big cities like New York, London and Tokyo, young people gather and look for small creatures with their cellphones. [Analysis] Mixing the virtual and real worlds together, Pokemon provides the players something they can enjoy anywhere and it is a pit-stop in daily routines.

　　不难看出，这一段中，因为使用了游戏的名字Pokemon以及纽约伦敦等大都市，例子变得极其真实具体，引发读者共鸣的同时，又能很好地服务于文章论证。

　　II. 数字

　　同样的，文章中数字的运用，可以使论证变得更加准确，更具说服力。数字的使用既含列考生常用的列数据，也包括对时间、年龄和数量的描述。以下面一段为例：

　　[Sub-point] Big cities present young people with plenty of career opportunities. [Explanation] Thanks to the developed public transit, geographical advantage and compelling economic policies, big cities become where companies, big or small, tend to gather. [Exemplification] Take Shanghai as an example. Over 300 multinational companies (out of the Fortune 500) from all industries, ranging from finance to auto manufacturing, have their branches or subsidiaries in this metropolis, creating millions of job opportunities for people, especially the young. Every year more than 1 million college graduates flood into this place of dream, hoping to find a suitable job and that one day they will have their own career and gain a foothold here.

　　在上段中，作者并没有单调地分析大城市具有何种优势从而吸引到寻求工作机会的年轻人，而是列举了几个事实的数字：超过300家500强企业，数以百万计的工作机会，每年超过100万的来沪求职者。这些数据的使用，使得文章的说服力上了一个等级，与只有单调说理而没有数字的论证相比，高下立判。

　　以上，是笔者对于名字和数字两种小细节的简单探讨。好的举例论证，既让说理显得充实、强势，又让语言变得生动、灵活，很好的增强文章的可读性。各位考生在平时的练习中，应该注意对于各种素材的掌握和积累，这样在考场上才能厚积薄发、熟练运用。